Ten Right Things You Can Learn From Dating Mr Wrong
We all grumble about spending so much energy on dates that don't work out. Here are some reasons that dating 'Mr. Wrong' may not be a waste of your time. Everything in life is a process and a learning experience. Dating is no exception if you do it consciously and with a good attitude. Here are ten ways you can benefit from dating Mr. Wrong:
1. Dating Experience- Anything in life takes practice. People will tell you to go on a lot of job interviews so you are ready when that perfect job opportunity hits. It's the same with dating.
2. Become clear what you DO want long-term- We often learn what we do want through contrast. You can take what you do not like in your dates and flip it. For example, 'I don't like that he does not listen to me' can bring clarity that you want to attract a good listener as your husband.
3. Learn more about yourself & others- We learn from everyone we meet. If you dislike someone it can teach you about an area where you are intolerant. Also, even if a date is not a romantic prospect, you can learn something else from them-about their career, art or another new experience.
4. Explore beyond 'your type'- We often choose the same experiences. Once you are married you will hopefully be with that person forever. So why not 'get out of the box' and experience what someone very different is like now?
5. Put dating energy in motion- Often when you want to attract a mate it's good to circulate interest. This can draw that energy to you and make you feel more confident and abundant. Also, dating is a numbers game, so sometimes the more people you meet the better your chances for success.
6. Let go of expectations & have fun - The ability to be present and joyful is very attractive in dating. Allowing the relationship and person to unfold takes the pressure off and makes space for both people to be themselves. When you are not interested in a date romantically, it is easy to practice enjoying that person in that moment. This is a great energy to bring to all your dates!
7. Learn to accept a man 'as is'- When a date is not long-term material it is easy to degrade or criticize them in your mind. To have a really great relationship, you need to accept your partner as is. You need to take the good with the challenging. It is good practice to 'be with' dates that are not your ideal. You can appreciate them without trying to change them.
8. Learn to 'say no' gracefully- Part of getting to 'yes' in anything is learning to say no. Too many daters hang out for years in relationships that don't fulfill them. One or two dates with 'Mr. Wrong' is instructive, but two years is destructive to your ultimate goal of attracting what you most want. Be clear and take a stand about when to leave. When you practice saying no in a kind way you will generally leave your date feeling okay.
9. Learn to Hear No- Anything you want involves some rejection. In dating you need to remain confident and continue to love yourself, even when the outcome does not work out as you wish. 80% of the time your date does not even know you, so their 'no' has more to do with them. Move ahead.
10. Free meals (and the ability to keep your sense of humor) -There is something to appreciate in most experiences. Look for the great meal, your dates talents or interests and appreciate that they took the time to meet you. This will be better for you and them and it is a great attitude to practice in your life.
Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is the Director of 'My Dating School, http://www.mydatingschool.com which offers classes in dating issues & coaching. She is a dating expert on television and radio, a Licensed Psychologist and a certified coach. Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a licensed psychologist, a dating coach and author of 'Dating From the Inside Out: How to Use the Law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart' by Atria Books, award Winner of the National 'Best Books' of 2008 in the category of Self-Help: Relationships. She has been a monthly speaker of The Learning Annex for over two years and was an expert on television shows such as the CBS Early Show & the AM Northwest Early Show, as well as many radio programs. She has been quoted in publications such as MSN.com, USA Weekend, Lifetime.com, Reader's Digest, 'Glamour,' 'Seventeen' and 'Complete Woman' magazine. |
Swept Off Your Feet Or Windswept - What's Your Idea of the Perfect Date?
Gone are the days when a date simply involved a drink down at the local or a slap-up meal - nowadays you can really impress your beau with an adrenaline packed adventure or ultimate pampering session, all courtesy of a huge range of experience days!
High water
For adventurous experience days, why not take your date white water rafting! After all, she'll probably be more impressed with your raft handling skills (or at least good humoured attempts) than the dodgy moves you'd otherwise be pulling off on a dancefloor! With expert tuition to get you going, you can choose from either man-made rapids - for guaranteed white water action - or head up to the Scottish highlands or Welsh mountains for added natural beauty. Now that's romance! Otherwise if you can handle the cold, why not show off your pecs with a day's surf lesson in Newquay? Soon you'll both be tackling the waves on your boards - and who knows, maybe you'll even get to re-enact some Baywatch moves at the end of it all! That's not all there is to water-themed experience days either - if your date is a water baby, you could also try yacht racing, powerboat speeding - or maybe head underwater for some scuba-diving fun (not ideal for a first date smooch though...)
Take to the skies!
Otherwise, head to the skies with some uplifting experience days! Why not go for pure old-fashioned romance with a beautiful hot air balloon ride. With a champagne toast to get you both in the mood, you'll then be guided through the skies in beautiful peaceful serenity. Let's just hope the great British weather holds up for your journey! You could also go for a high-speed date in the skies with a helicopter tour over London - taking in all the sights in style, it's certainly more glamorous than the view from the No.42 bus - and your date will surely be impressed by your creative date planning!
Foodie dates
Food and romance have always gone hand in hand, but rather than relying on your speciality beans on toast, why not try something different - experience days like doing a chocolate making workshop together? Available in London or Manchester, this workshop will teach you all about the magical choc making process - and you'll even have a go at making your own! The taste of freshly made chocolate is truly a revelation, this really will be a sweet experience! Otherwise, if your date is more of a 'takeout and lager' type, why don't you both learn to make your own fantastic curries with a workshop led by an expert chef. Experience days like this will guarantee you're not stuck for conversation on your date!
Grand gestures
Maybe your date really does need some serious impressing - in that case why not pull out all the stops with lunch in Paris! Experience days like this are guaranteed to be memorable! You will travel in luxury on the Eurostar, have time to shop and sightsee in the famous city of love (impress your beau with some mangled French phrases) and then enjoy a magnificent romantic lunch on a cruiser on the Seine - a bit more special than your average 'pub karaoke night' date - your beau will be convinced that you have magnificent taste and style! (Keep up the illusion for now...)
Or treat that special person to a glamourous night of London's best theatre, with a trip to a show and an overnight stay in a 3* superior city hotel afterwards - with an optional continental breakfast the next day.... Alternatively, why not head to the countryside and pretend to be an idle aristocrat with a Gourmet Classic Car Day! You'll get to impress your beau with your driving skills whilst driving an icon from the classic car world - either an Alfa Spider or Jensen Interceptor! After driving around the beautiful local countryside (you'll be given a local touring route - just don't fall out over directions), you'll stop off at lunch time for a gourmet lunch at a superior restaurant - perfect for making eyes at each other over the table!
So come on, forget the carnations from the local garage and chinese takeouts - it's time you treated your date to a bit of style and excitement and showed them how much you care - and with such a fantastic range of experience days now available, you can guarantee to find something that will really make their day - and yours in the process!
Written by John Smith co-founder of GettingPersonal.co.uk GettingPersonal.co.uk are one of the UK's leading on-line retailers of Gifts, personalised gifts, Birthday Gifts, Christmas Gifts and Experience Days. Their website is packed with over 1,500 gifts for any special occasion. For more go to http://www.gettingpersonal.co.uk |
Finding Your True Love in the Free Internet Dating Scene
There are so many people that are using free internet dating websites to find themselves a great partner and many of them have no idea how they can go about getting the perfect partner for them. What follows are some of the best tips and suggestions that will get you noticed for the right reasons for those of you who are using these services. A great many people do not realize that doing these simple things is the best possible way to make sure that you are with the right person for you: be honest, let your humor show and consider everything as possible.
Be Honest and Truthful
Although you might not think that this is that important, it actually is far more important than you even realize in today's atmosphere of deception and Identity Theft. There are many things that you might be tempted to lie about on your free internet dating profile; but this is not the smartest idea, as those little lies will catch up with you! If you start out a relationship lying about anything you might not have that relationship for very long once your boyfriend/husband, girlfriend/wife finds out that you have been lying to them even about something small.
Let Your Humor Show
If you have a great sense of humor, let that come through loud and clear in your free internet dating profile. This is for those that are looking at your profile that even the worse life and people have thrown at you is not so bad that you cannot laugh at just about anything that you have encountered and been through. This is something that people may not understand, but are drawn to nonetheless! If they are seeing that you can laugh at life's adversities, then they start seeing that there is a great deal of hope for them too especially if you have been through some of the same situations as they have and can still laugh.
Consider EVERYTHING as Possible
There is absolutely nothing that is impossible only improbable or not going to happen right at that moment in time! If you start thinking that you are never going to find that person that you are looking for, then you will never find him or her, it is just that simple! There is nothing that cannot be brought to you if it is in your best interests and even when want we want really is not the best for us. You need to keep thinking and believing that you will find the man or woman that you are looking to meet in the free internet dating scene.
Keep Your Faith in YOURSELF
There is no better way to attract a potential mate than to project the fact that you are confident in yourself and that you will find a mate when the time is right! Self confidence like that comes through even in what you write in your free internet dating profile! Being yourself is pretty much the best way.
These are only 3 of the many good tips and suggestions that you will find on http://www.online-dating-service-sg.com There is much more that you can read about Free Internet Dating. |
All About Calling Men - Dating Advice For Women
It seems that every woman should know all about calling men if she wants to stay in control in her relationship. Unfortunately it's never as simple as calling your man when you feel like talking to him. Men make assumptions about women based on how they handle telephone calls. If you want to appeal to him there are just a few basic rules you need to follow.
For the most part women shouldn't do much of the calling at all. If you call him too soon after a date he'll label you as desperate, if you call him because he didn't call you when he said he would he'll think you're impatient. Men decide things about you based on your calling habits. The easiest way to avoid that is not to call him at all.
A perfect example of why you shouldn't call is because if you do you'll take on that role for the remainder of the relationship. It's likely already happened to you at some point in time. You wait patiently to hear from the man you are dating and he never calls. Instead of just leaving it alone you call him over and over again until you finally get a hold of him. He realizes pretty quickly that there's no reason for him to call. You'll always track him down. If you start this behavior, you'll be stuck doing it forever.
Or you and your boyfriend seem to have a great time together and he says he'll give you a call the next day. You wait, he doesn't call and then you call him wondering what's going on. He'll say he was busy and tell you to chill out. Now you feel like a fool and he thinks that you've got nothing else going on in your life other than him. You never want to appear that way to any man, especially the one you're dating.
Once you have a clear understanding of how phone calls play into the dynamic of your relationship you can see why making those calls isn't always in your best interest. If you know all about calling men you can decide for yourself when or if you should call the man you are dating.
You need to always remember that men and women view phone calls, emails and text in very different ways. If you make the mistake of calling too frequently, at the wrong time or before he's ready to hear from you, you can actually turn him off. Women unwittingly ruin their chances of a future with a man because they are too over eager to hear from him. Don't let this happen to you You may think that there's no consequence when you pick up the phone to call the man you're interested in, but there is. Men pay close attention to when women call them and they'll make assumptions about you based on that. Learn when the perfect time to contact him is so that he'll find you irresistible. |
Virgo Men Dating Advice - How to Make Him Yours
If you've got your eye on a guy born between August 23 and September 22 then you need some Virgo man dating advice. These men are incredibly appealing to many women for numerous reasons. These honest and trustworthy men are very thoughtful and generous. If you've met one and now want to make him yours, you need to learn exactly how to make yourself irresistible to him.
One mistake that many women make when they are attracted to a Virgo man is that they expect him to act a certain way. The best piece of Virgo man dating advice you can heed is to not take everything a man like this says to heart. One character trait that many men born under this sign share is that they are very liberal with making comments about the woman in their life. If he tells you that he doesn't find the shoes you are wearing particularly attractive, don't take offense. Instead view it as his being honest with you. If you are offended easily you need to develop a thicker skin if you hope to sustain a lasting relationship with a Virgo man.
Another very helpful piece of Virgo man dating advice is to never lose touch with your own friends. Men like this love making their own plans and they need to keep part of themselves independent from the relationship. If you become too dependent on him he'll feel threatened by that. It's best to allow him his freedom while at the same time embracing yours. He'll let his guard down with you if he senses that you aren't trying to box him in. Let him live his life and he'll enjoy the time he spends with you even more.
Love doesn't have to be left to fate or chance. If you are crazy about a man and you want him to feel the same way about you, there are things you can do to ensure that happens. Don't lose him because you didn't know what to do or say. For more insightful information about men including what you need to do right now that will make you utterly irresistible to him, visit this Helpful Site As women we all have the power to make any man love us. Instead of guessing what to do to please him, find out now how to make certain he can't live without you. |
Is the Woman You're Dating Seeing Other Men Also?
It's no secret that I strongly advocate dating several women at once. Life is way too short to be a "serial dater". You've got to learn quickly what it is you really want in a great woman, and how to evaluate whether a particular woman fits the parameters or not. Otherwise, you're likely to settle for less than who you really want in your life.
That's a solid plan, and I've shared with you in the past (particularly in The Leading Man) how you can be perfectly up-front and honest with women about your plans and intentions when dating multiple women.
And women will often respond in a reasonable manner as long as they're told the truth.
But here's the tricky part. While a shockingly high percentage of the women you date will actually choose to date no guys other than you--even after they know where you stand--there are also bound to be women who are not only reserving their right to date other guys...they're ACTING on it.
That's their prerogative outside of an exclusive relationship with you, of course. But even so, it's not always the easiest thing to deal with psychologically when she starts talking about it openly, is it?
So what do you do when this happens?
Let's break down the possibilities.
For starters, most guys who feel like they've been hit by a truck upon hearing that a woman is dating multiple guys are usually coming from a perspective of having LIMITED OPTIONS.
Now, I fully get that it takes time to go from having marginal success with women to having that full slate of 4-6 of them in your life that I often talk about.
So things can get particularly dicey if you REALLY like a woman who is sitting across from you, she's the ONLY woman you happen to be dating at the moment, AND THEN she casually mentions something about another guy she is seeing.
Your first thought may be to find out as much about the other guy as you can.
What does he look like? What kind of job does he have? What kind of car does he drive? And if you lack personal discipline enough to suppress your curiosity in this regard, you'll go ahead and blurt out such questions.
But in doing so, you'll betray your insecurities. After all, you'll be obviously attempting to sort out possible comparisons with him in your mind-probably, as human nature would have it, according to your own limiting beliefs.
In other words, if you think your car sucks, that's when you most likely to ask about his.
Bad idea.
It's even a WORSE idea to try to qualify yourself by asking boneheaded questions like, "So do you like me better?" Ouch.
Deep down, I think most of us who have spent any time improving our skills with women fully realize that responding in the manner I've just delineated spells certain doom.
Nonetheless, some guys just can't help themselves from doing it. Just like some women can't help asking such questions when they find out YOU'RE dating other women, right?
Nevertheless, we instinctively know that there's a MUCH BETTER way to respond.
That would be to conduct oneself with pure confidence, perhaps responding to her mention of another guy with something to the effect of, "Well, you SHOULD be dating other guys. I'm really glad you aren't going to be one of those women who falls in love after a week and gets all clingy...I'm getting kind of sick of that. It's good that we can just enjoy each other's company."
But that takes A LOT of intestinal fortitude. It's "advanced level" stuff to pull off the RIGHT WORDS in that situation backed by the RIGHT ATTITUDE.
Unless you REALLY ARE dating multiple women and REALLY ARE almost relieved that she isn't getting the female version of "one-itis", you're going to risk coming off as inauthentic.
And we all want to avoid that.
So given the two options--utter neediness vs. calling the situation out with confidence-what do most guys do?
Well, unfortunately, they usually opt for the "hidden" third option.
They do NOTHING. That's right...they either stick their head in the sand like an ostrich, or they go into total denial.
This is usually characterized by a rapid subject change, a sudden excuse to go to the men's room, or an awkward silence on the phone.
Once the initial pain or uneasiness of the news is over, we tend to slog through the rest of the interaction. And she's happy to oblige.
Well...guess what? While most guys recognize that they DO NOT want to appear "needy" by asking a bunch of dumb questions, what they DON'T realize is that by avoiding the issue altogether they actually come off AS BADLY or EVEN WORSE than if they had become Dr. Clingy McNeedy.
Why? Because instead of at least taking the bull by the horns and finding out what's up, avoidance or denial portrays you as a hopelessly passive man who is either unwilling or unable to face a challenge.
Plus, you're likely to start running through all the possibilities in your head. Picturing her with that other guy. Imagining that other guy as being some sort of stud in every way you perceive yourself NOT to be.
Basically, you'll drive yourself NUTS laying awake at night.
All the while, had you responded from a position of strength as we discussed before, she may have ended up volunteering to you that the
other guy wasn't as high a priority as you are to her.
But by avoiding the issue altogether instead, you'll never know for
sure. Next stop? Total loss of attraction on her part. No wait, check that. The NEXT STOP would probably be her MANIPULATING you at will for some fixed period of time, FOLLOWED by total loss of attraction on her part.
After all, you will have failed to deploy when it comes to ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that represents true masculinity from a woman's perspective.
Here's a hint: Passivity and denial are pretty much the antitheses of courage and character.
So the next time you find out that a woman you are attracted to is dating other guys, what are you going to do?
Asking needy questions is OUT of the question, of course.
And pretending she never said anything is EVEN WORSE, as you now know.
Instead, can you recognize that offering your approval to her dating other guys REALLY IS the best option, no matter if YOU are dating other women at the time or not?
With that in mind, can operating as a man who perceives himself to have options become the preferred path to follow in these situations?
And can you be AUTHENTIC in doing so, knowing the gravity of the alternatives?
As counter-intuitive as it sounds, your confident approval of her dating others is actually your BEST CHANCE of becoming the one she ultimately favors.
When she perceives you as having options, she's more likely to accurately recognize that you are HER best option.
Considering that a woman's natural tendency is typically to want to keep the greatest
Scot McKay's brand new relationship management system The Leading Man is found at: http://www.the-leading-man.com Stop by right now and Scot will give you four FREE videos along with a steady stream of FREE bonuses in your inbox...all when you sign up for the X & Y Communications Newsletter. Also be sure to check out The Chick Whisperer podcast on iTunes. |



